Hey, friend -

Let's talk about bad decisions.

Shortly after her 23rd birthday, Kid #2 decided she no longer wanted to live HERE. She wanted to live THERE.

I was all-in with this idea.

HERE was boring, lonely, and contaminated by ex-boyfriend funk. THERE was where most of her college friends landed.

So Kid #2 found a job and an apartment THERE, gave her notice HERE (in that order because #responsible), and on the morning of April 15, 2022, we drove 303 miles northeast to move her in.

By 2:38 pm that same afternoon, we suspected THERE was colossal mistake.

The neighborhood had a decidedly urban vibe to it—which we adults expected, but somehow Kid #2 absolutely did not.

The apartment was impossibly dour and smelled like someone's problematic aunt had taught her merry band of incontinent cats how to chainsmoke Virginia Slims.

Within an hour of emptying the U-Haul and the last of her boxes, Kid #2 was in tears—the hiccuping, gasping kind of tears.

So we did what parents do: Empathized, validated, reassured, offered food.

And then we left her there.

I was concerned but optimistic. My husband was stricken and pessimistic.

Two weeks later—every day of which Kid #2 had spent at her friends' apartments instead of her own—she proved my husband right.

This was a terrible decision. I can't do it. I want to come home. But I signed a lease. I'm stuck here. AM I REALLY STUCK HERE FOR A YEAR?

So we rented another U-Haul.

Helped her get out of her new lease with no penalty.

And lent her the truly unconscionable amount of money she needed to get an apartment back HERE.

Why did we rescue her? Because I'm a pushover parent and I don't want my kids to learn lessons the hard way? Nope.

(I mean... maybe? But not in this case.)

We did it because "stuck" is an ugly—and sometimes imaginary—place to be.

And I wanted Kid #2 to learn that lesson.

Here's what I mean...

Pep Talk #009: Surprisingly few decisions are permanent.

If you make a decision you don't like, you can (usually) undo it.

Yes, undoing decisions has consequences. But so does sticking with decisions that've gone south.

Did you add a product or service to your line-up and now you wish you hadn't? Take it off the menu.

Did you say yes to a project that feels out of alignment? Get out of it. (Responsibly. Ethically.)

Did you get tangled up in a business or personal relationship that's sucking the life out of you? Untangle yourself.

Did you take out cha-ching student loans to go to grad school for two years and then 18 months into your new career decide you actually didn't want to do that career, like at all? 'Fess up and change directions. (This may or may not be part of my story.) (It's 100% part of my story.)

Friend, if you feel stuck right now, take a deep breath and consider what you can undo.

Sending courage and clarity,
Kell

P.S. Have you ever undone a bad decision? I'd love to hear about it.