Hey, friend -

I'm a generally responsible human.

I actually do what I tell my clients I'm going to do.

I pay my bills on time.

I use a password manager, for crying out loud.

But there's a shadow side to all of this: I also take responsibility for all kinds of stuff that's actually NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY.

I've been picking up the slack on group projects since 1976.

I fill awkward silences, usually with something awkward.

I try to manage other people's feelings. (This is kinda of hilarious, given that I'm still learning to manage my own.)

Prince Jack (my husband) tells me I can make anything my fault: wars in other countries, the national debt, the resurgence of the mullet.

I don't know if it's a people-pleaser thing or an only child thing or a religious trauma thing or what. But it doesn't really matter why I do that. What matters is that it's exhausting to be in charge of so many big things. Especially when I have exactly zero influence over any of them.

If you can relate, this may help...

Pep Talk #033: Own only your part.

In early December, I started reading The Daily Stoic.

So far, I've been struck by how many entries have something to do with control: how little we have compared to how much we act like we have.

The truth is, the only thing we can control—the only thing we're actually responsible for—is our mind.

"... this is all good news because it drastically reduces the amount of things that you need to think about. ... While everyone else is running around with a list of responsibilities a mile long—things they're not actually responsible for—you've got just that one-item list. (p. 21)

So here's the pep talk: When you feel stressed out, overburdened, frazzled, or otherwise out of sorts, see if you can just let something go. It's probably not yours to hold, anyway.

The Daily Stoic is a good read, by the way. I'm definitely not a philosophy wonk, so I appreciate the short, to-the-point entries.

I'm curious to know what you're reading. Let me know, would you? (I promise no judgment if you've got a stack of Lucy Score's books on your nightstand.)

Practicing my new "not my problem" mindset,
Kelley