Hiya.

So... let's talk about your internal critic.

I realize it's sort of presumptuous of me to assume you even have an internal critic. But I googled some stuffs:

• We have roughly 6K thoughts per day during our waking hours.
• 20-25% of our time is spent in "inner monologue."
• 80% of our self-talk is unproductive or negative.
• 95% of our thoughts are repetitive.

I'll spare you the fancy math I just spent waaaaaay too long scribbling out and just give you the bottom line: We say as many as 1,140 nasty things to ourselves, about ourselves, over and over and over again. Every day.

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Friend, I may not know you very well, but I do know this: You don't deserve to have 1,140 insults hurled at you every day. Nobody does.

But we do it anyway:

• I'm so stupid.
• I totally f*cked that up.
• I'll never figure this out.
• I'm a hot mess.
• I'm not smart enough.
• I'm not talented enough.
• I'm too old.
• I'm too young.
• I'm too fat.
• Everyone is so far ahead of me.

All of that nonsense carves deep grooves in our brain, so our thoughts are drawn into a current of self-flagellation.

Thankfully, our brains are super pliable (neuroplasticity FTW), so it's entirely possible to carve new and improved grooves. And while we'll likely never be completely free of our internal asshat, we can create tributaries of self-compassion.

If I'm being totally honest, developing self-compassion feels like a helluva lot of work. There are mountains of books to read and podcasts to learn from and guided meditations to practice (and, quite frankly, therapy appointments to attend).

It's worthy work, though. And I want to offer just one little step to you today...

Pep Talk #019: Pay attention to your internal dialogue.
As with most things, awareness is the first step forward. So one morning or afternoon this week, see if you can slow down enough to listen to yourself think.

When your internal meanie lobs a criticism your way, don't bat it away. Instead, catch it and turn it over in your hands, exploring it from every angle.

Try these questions:
> What was going on when the thought entered your mind?
> What bodily sensations accompany the thought?
> What emotions come before, during, and after the thought?
> Is your critic trying to protect you from something?
> What evidence is there to refute their claim? (There is evidence. Don't you dare shrug your shoulders! )
> How could you restate the criticism to be more accurate?

Please note: I'm not suggesting you should collect and carry around your negative thoughts forever. I only want you to become aware of how loud your internal critic is—so you can begin to turn down the volume. Mkay? Mkay!

Cheering for you,
Kelley

P.S. While you're paying attention to your internal dialogue, see if you can catch the good stuff, too.